At the top of the stairs
by I once was young
Summary: She tried to tell Rachel to meet her at the top of the stairs, to always meet her there. Because that is where Quinn Fabray would always love her.


Hey guys! Let me start off by saying I have never written a Glee story, so this will be my first one. Also, I have never written femslash; this will be a learning experience! I love Faberry terribly so I hope I don't screw this up. Though, I can't do worse than Ryan Murphy has done to this couple.

I would love it if I could get reviews, telling me to stop or continue to write this wonderful couple. Thanks for reading!

I don't own anything, by the way. Just a fan who wants to share her love of her OTP.

**Chapter one**

Quinn walked slowly, but with purpose, down the crowded halls of McKinley High. She barely registered the amount of eyes on her, or the sound of whispering, all she really cared about was the fact they got the fuck out of her way. She couldn't help but to let out satisfied smirk with the way she had clawed her way back to the top after having Beth. Quinn was the girl every one wanted, or wanted to be.

There were times she thought that dancing and singing in the Glee club would be enough for her. Sometimes she felt like she had finally found her puzzle, the place where she truly belonged. But she hated that people would slam their shoulders into her. She gritted her teeth when people would heckle her. The bottom line was that Quinn Fabray was not meant to be slusheed.

So she took some satisfaction that everyone who encountered her treated her like royalty again. She felt her pride throb with all the attention, the attention of all the students.

At least she thought that until she walked by Rachel Berry.

Rachel never even looked at her, she didn't fawn over the blonde and try to bend to her every whim. Rachel didn't even try to get out of the blondes way while weaving through the crowd, on her way to class. Her olive skin brushed Quinn's own pale skin, and Quinn breathed in deeply.

Quinn knew there was a reason behind her torture of the very talented diva. There was a cause deep in her belly for drawing crude pictures of the girl, and for starting horrible rumors about her. There was a reason.

And it ate a hole through her heart every time she saw a flash of chocolate curls, or a glance from honey brown eyes. She felt her bones quake with the very knowledge of why she was so horrible.

In that instant she pressed closer to her, close enough to smell her light perfume. Quinn could almost smell their future together, she could almost taste their happiness. If she could just open her mouth so many things could happen.

Quinn breathed in.

Quinn would pull the brunette away and softly tell her how horrible of a person Quinn had been through out school. She would whisper that they were about to graduate and she needed to fix their broken relationship, or she could never look back at high school fondly.

Quinn would tell Rachel that it all started back in kindergarten, when they were five. She would blush and tell the other girl that she had thought she was the most beautiful person she had ever seen. Even more so than her own mother. The mother she had thought to be the Queen of all pageants, the mother she hoped to look like. She would tell the diva that she knew it was love at first sight, and that she wouldn't shut up about Rachel, until her sister made fun of her. Asking, "Do you have a crush or something?", with a strange look on her face. A look that was both joking, but a hidden look of disdain and disgust.

Quinn would tell her that she didn't really know what that meant, but she knew she never came home talking about Rachel again.

Rachel would watch her with unsure eyes, but would pull the blonde into an embrace anyways. Quinn would cry desperately into her shirt, begging with all her might to be forgiven. She would plead for another chance, any chance at being her friend.

And Rachel would forgive her, because that is the kind of amazing person she was.

They would become very close very fast after Quinn's confession. They would have sleep overs, always at Rachel's house, or they would talk on the phone for hours every night. The two girls would be the gossip of the school; but neither of them would notice or pay much attention. Their focus was on each other and nothing else.

Quinn and Rachel would both apply to colleges in New York. Rachel would apply for Tisch, and Quinn would apply to NYU.

They both would read their acceptance letters together. Jumping up and down in the Berry living room, feeling warm and like the stars were finally aligning.

Quinn would drive with Rachel's family to New York, since there would be no one to hug her or wave her goodbye. There would be no one to tell her good luck, or good job. But she knew she wouldn't need her drunken mother, or her stoic father.

She had Rachel next to her, and they were going to be living in a crappy apartment together. Neither of them would care that the water was usually only boiling lava hot, or icy cold. They would laugh at the fact that they could hear every conversation in the building. Some would be vulgar and their faces would flush as their eyes darted away from each other. Other times they would try to copy their Russian neighbors accent. They would both fail miserably, but the memory would be so worth it.

They would ignore their second bedroom, and snuggle close together during their first New York winter together. They would talk about home, and wonder about their past glee members. Mostly, though, they would talk about their future. They would smile as their first New York snow flakes fell, and they would feel secure knowing the other was there.

Rachel would throw herself into auditions and mutter lines constantly. There were times Quinn would glance up, thinking she was being spoken to, when in reality she was being ignored for a mirror and monologue scripts.

Quinn would never complain. She would just watch the small diva start making her dreams come true, and Quinn was just so appreciative she was part of the ride.

Quinn would take Rachel to a fancy restaurant they couldn't afford when Rachel came home screaming she got her first role in the play, "Milk like sugar." It wasn't her most coveted role, but Rachel wouldn't be able to rip the grin off her face for weeks.

It would be that night of celebrating that Quinn would hold her hand at the dinner table, it would be that night that they nervously stared at each other when they got home.

But it would be that night that Quinn would slowly lean in closer and press her lips to the shorter girl. Rachel would blink in surprise but would eventually respond just as sweetly. Their mouths would stay pressed against each other for a lengthy time.

They wouldn't notice the sun coming up as they whispered, so not to break the spell, and they would stay in each others arms until the rest of the world started to awaken.

Rachel would be stubborn on many things, when it came to their schedules. One of those things would be the fact that she would want to keep the apartment vegan friendly. But there would be days that Quinn would come home from her shitty serving job, feet sore from a twelve hour shift. Her eyes would be red rimmed and her cheeks would burn under the harsh words of customers. Those would be the days that Rachel would cook bacon grilled cheese, with a grimace on her face and her eyes closed.

Those would be the days Quinn would almost cry in relief.

They would both have hectic schedules, hectic beyond reason. Quinn would have school, her internship at an underground news paper, and would still have to work at the diner down the street. Quinn would scowl on the days they barely saw each other, and try to imagine a glimpse of olive skin.

Rachel, on the other hand, would have her Tisch classes, dance classes, vocal lessons, and her non-stop rehearsing for her debut night. She would rarely sleep longer than a few hours, waking from a nightmare of bombing on stage. During those nights she would reach across the bed and entangle her fingers with Quinn's calloused ones.

Rachel's first opening night would be a night neither of them could ever forget. Rachel could only be calmed when Quinn's arms were wrapped around her middle, and the blonde was whispering how proud she was of her super star.

Hours later, Quinn would sit in the front row and cheer quietly every time she saw Rachel glide across the stage. Quinn would rub her eyes and try to keep from letting the emotion show through. She tried not to tear up at the sight of small brunette, doing the thing she loved the most. The blonde would realize in that moment how lucky she was to be sitting there, how lucky she was at all.

After the show they would celebrate with the rest of the cast, they would both get slightly tipsy and kiss softly in the corner of the bar until it was time to leave.

They would laugh loudly their whole way back to the apartment, their skin always touching somewhere. Quinn would lead Rachel up the stairs to their awful two bedroom home, that they secretly loved, and there at the top of the stairs is where she would say it.

She would look at Rachel's hair slightly curled with sweat, she would look at the smeared makeup, and the tiny uplift at the corners of her mouth. She would soak all this in and tell her.

She would say that she had loved Rachel for most of her life, she would say that she couldn't imagine a life without her, she would thank Rachel for the drive to get her out of Ohio. But mostly she would tell Rachel how proud of her she was, and that she would never stop loving her.

Quinn would watch Rachel's eyes mist and her lips quiver. She would readily return the embrace, and Quinn would sob when the small girl in her arms told her she loved her, too.

Quinn would die, and be reborn in that moment on top of the stairs.

The seasons would pass, and the years would go by quickly. And before Quinn could even blink she would be working at the New York Times, and Rachel would have her name splashed across Broadway. They would both be famous in their own right. Neither of them could be more proud of the other.

Quinn would cut out every article that would have her gold stars name in it, and Rachel in return kept every article Quinn wrote. Rachel would keep even the ones Quinn hated and had to write in college, but secretly Rachel loved those the most.

Their scrap books would be so crammed full that they would laugh fondly and try to stuff just a few more slips of paper in them.

They would be living in an apartment in the better part of town now, their water could be any degree they wanted. A fact that they both cherished when the girls decided to save water and shower together.

Rachel would decorate mostly with bright splashes of color, and Quinn would decorate her office in grays and blues.

Rachel would get more paint on her face and clothes than the walls if she were left alone for too long. These were the moments she would catch Quinn watching her carefully.

Quinn would be thinking of how she never wanted to wake up without Rachel snoring softly next to her. She would know that she never wanted to have a Friday night where she wasn't watching Funny Girl with cold toes pressed against her thigh. Her eyes would flicker over their home together and she would understand that it wouldn't be a home without the other woman occupying it.

Quinn would propose after seven years of being together. She would propose at Rachel's last show in her latest Broadway hit.She would ask in front of Rachel's Dad's and her entire cast and crew. Quinn would pull out a 2.4 carat diamond ring, it would be a round cut surround by sapphires. It would be reflected in the most beautiful eyes Quinn had ever seen. It would be the exact ring Rachel had 'ohh'ed and 'ahh'ed at months prior.

Rachel would fall to her knees with Quinn and would say yes, over and over again. Quinn would put it on slowly, remembering how it felt to know that Rachel would always be hers.

They would have an outdoor wedding in Ohio, after many arguments and an explicit amount of make up sex. They would both wear dresses, that much they would have both agreed on. Quinn's would be short and a modest cut, while Rachel's would be long and made from lace. They would both write their vows and neither of them could keep dry eyes when it came time to kiss.

Rachel would be the first one to bring up kids, but it would be weeks later of Quinn sleeping on the couch for her to tell Rachel that she was just scared of being a horrible mother. But that she would like to try, as long as it was with her.

Quinn would stare at the mirror for hours, looking at her faded scars of already having one child. She would confess to her pillow in the middle of the night that she didn't think she could carry another baby. She would convince herself that she would screw this up, too.

Rachel would turn over and furiously tell Quinn that she was the most beautiful and wonderful woman that ever lived. Rachel would run her fingers over the now white stretch marks, and she would beg Quinn to kiss her. She would follow the lines with her tongue, and sear it into her partners skin that these were not war scars. They were a story book of her life.

Quinn would never feel self conscious about Beth or her body again.

It would take awhile before the pregnancy would stick, but eventually Quinn would have a small bump where her normally smooth stomach would be. She would caress it constantly, praying for the first time in years that she could stay in this moment. Quinn was swollen with a new life; a life that came from the only love she had ever known. She would run her fingers through Rachel's hair, as the brunette would lay in her lap and sing to their daughter.

Rachel would sometimes talk to Quinn's stomach when she thought the blonde was asleep. Rachel would say things like, I hope you look like your mother. I hope you're as beautiful as her. Every time you feel your mothers heart beat just know that it beats with love.

Quinn would try to keep her breathing even on these nights, but she thinks maybe Rachel would know anyways.

On July 23 Maria Lucy Berry-Fabray was born.

It would be the happiest moment of her life. With her wife next to her, and their daughter in her arms, she would let go of the baggage she didn't know she still carried.

But this is where Quinn's mind can't catch up with her dreams. Sometimes their daughter would have blonde feathery hair, but with Rachel's laugh and smile. Other days she would have beautiful dark curls with deep blue eyes.

Sometimes the baby didn't look like either of them, but of some donor they never met before.

Quinn could never let her mind wander past this moment, could never let herself feel what it would be like to have a gorgeous family with a gorgeous woman. Quinn screwed her eyes tight and tried to forget the feeling of soft tan skin beneath her. She tried to block out the breathy way her name would come out, when she nibbled on a hip bone just so

This where her mind would twist and twirl with more realistic memories. This where she would start to wonder why her and Rachel never fought.

It was simple, because it was all in her mind.

Quinn would never risk rejection by begging for Rachel's forgiveness. So Rachel never got to forgive her, Rachel never got to move to New York with her, Rachel never got to love her.

Which might be for the best, if she thought about it. She could imagine how it would have actually gone.

.

Rachel would have made friends in college, friends Quinn would be jealous of. Rachel would always have been insecure because of the things Quinn had said in high school. When they would fight Rachel would have said that Quinn never changed, that she was always going to be that cheer leader who thought she was better.

In return Quinn would have screamed at Rachel about how she would always be insecure because even her mother could never love her.

Rachel would have told Quinn how funny that was coming from a woman who gave her baby away.

Quinn would have slapped her.

All those beautiful images of their life together were slowly morphing into images of distrust and hate. Her wedding turned cold and empty. It made the bile rise in her stomach at Rachel's distorted face.

Quinn's fist would clench in an attempt to keep those images fresh in her mind. But all Quinn could see was a crowded hall in a high school in Lima, Ohio.

Quinn and Rachel never made it.

New York was a swirl of mismatched streets, and people she never knew. She couldn't remember the color of the walls in their first apartment, anymore. Because she never lived in a two bedroom with Rachel Berry. She never lived with Rachel Berry at all.

Quinn swallowed harshly at the thought of not knowing how Rachel would look when she would propose, because she would never get the chance. Someone else would going to give her wife a ring that she would fall in love with. Someone else was going to watch Rachel on her debut night of her first Broadway show.

Someone else who wasn't a complete coward was going to make Rachel Berry the happiest woman in the world. Someone whose heart wasn't a shade of gray would tell Rachel all the things she deserved to hear.

Quinn stopped in the middle of the hallway.

There was one moment she had to hold on to, there was one memory that never happened that she needed to keep close to her heart. She couldn't let it swirl down the drain with all the others. She wouldn't let this one get tainted with her hideous reality.

Rachel Berry turned and watched the blonde cheer leader stop in the hall, eyes screwed shut, hands balled up, and a certain rigidity to her spine. Rachel wondered if the girl needed assistance; if she was going to be sick. Rachel thought about reaching her hand out when the cheer leader sighed, opened her eyes, and continued through the corridor.

The brunette shook it off and turned herself.

The shock of cold syrup splashing onto her hair and face took her more by surprise than it usually did. The overwhelming smell of grape burnt her nose. But the burning in her nose was nothing compared to the stinging in her eyes. Whether it was tears or the slushee, she was unsure of.

When she wiped away most of the ice, and was able to blink through her bangs she noticed the laughter around her. She noticed the way everyone pointed and taunted her openly. There was only one person she could barely see that wasn't laughing.

Quinn watched the way Rachel stared at her. She ignored everything else and tried to convey what she was feeling to the brunette. She tried to scream with her eyes, she tried to share that one memory she had to keep close.

She tried to tell Rachel to meet her at the top of the stairs, to always meet her there. Because that is where Quinn Fabray would always love her.

Outside of their tiny apartment, with awful water pressure and heating, Rachel would be safe. She would be safe and loved and she would never know what a slushee felt like.

In the dark, and in the back of her mind, Quinn would always meet her at the top of the stairs.


End file.
